Monthly Archives: June 2016

Death Talks?!

Death conversations?  Are these a real thing?  Is this what friends talk about?  I mean seriously?!

Therapy is a funny thing. How do you know if you are on the same page as your therapist? I didn’t go see her for a “pity party”. I went to her to find the tools needed for support. I don’t want to go there to feel sorry for myself. I don’t see the point in that. This isn’t what it about for me. I haven’t felt worry for myself this entire process, so why would I start now? I came here to prepare myself for the future. So I don’t loose it on someone. Tools. I know why I cope with certain topics the way I do. I mean not to harp on a dead subject but who, specifically people without cancer, talk to their friends in general about death? Are these real conversations that people have? Well regardless I am not having them nor am I going to have them with my friends. I feel as though i have the same chances of being hit by a car as getting cancer again. If it happens I will cross that bridge when I get there.

Such a strange feeling left inside of me after this, that I couldn’t let it go.  I am still thinking about it.

Dear Friends

Although my journey has been a tad bit different.   The sentiment remains the same.  I will note that “working out” through treatment has helps significantly reduce, not eliminate a ton of the side affects from the drugs.  I just think she writes better than I do.

Dear Friends Cancer Doesn’t End When Treatment Does

As I am getting to my finish line of treatment what does the next phase have in store for me?  I am not sure but I can’t wait to get there.

Getting My Head on Straight.

So much to my surprise, the physical has been the easy part thus far.  As I get closer to the end.  Yes, finally seeing a finish line.  My mental state has definitely suffered.  I am finally realizing what I have gone through this past two and a half years.  To quote my favorite movie, “I climbed through a river of shit to come out clean on the other side.”  Fuck.  I cannot believe it’s been this long.  So I am proactively taking steps to better mental health.  Also so I don’t lose my shit and go postal on everyone.  (insert winky face) Ugh, who am I?

Hmm, some very important questions are coming up about life after treatment?  I mean besides what I am going to do with all my free time.  Serious life questions.  Quite frankly it’s exhausting.