I am exhausted from being exhausted all the time.  I never feel rested or energized.  I know it has a lot to do with not sleeping and the meds I am taking, but truthfully it is exhausting.  I can’t believe I have to do this for another year and seven months.  I know most people would look at it like “yes, only one year and seven months to go”.  I just can’t right now.  I am tired.  I am run down.  I have had enough.  I feel like a zombie 99% of the time.  There isn’t enough caffeine on the planet to help me get through some of my days.

I ask myself these questions, pretty regularly:

Did I go back to work too soon?  Should I take a day off just to re-coupe?  Should I really be in ten plus hours of traffic every week?  Should I start taking sleep meds, because of course what is one more drug in the grand scheme of things?  Am I pushing myself too hard?  Do I need a vacation?  Do I just need a break?

Chemo Brain

Evidence it is real, people.  I am shocked that some of the effects last as long as they do, though.  I mean I know what it’s like to have the “fogginess” and lack of concentration.  It’s a lot of reason why reading is so difficult these days.  I love to read but it’s hard to get through it.  I read pages and then forget the next day what I just read.  It’s frustrating to say the least.  I hope at the end of this the fogginess goes away.

into that of a four year old’s sense of poop humor equivalent.  I laugh ridiculously hard at THE dumbest shit.  I can’t help it.  It’s like my brain died.  Farts are funny.  Maybe it’s just easier to laugh these days.  Doesn’t take much, that’s for sure.  Prime example is below.  I could not stop laughing seeing this.  It’s quite possible because, well I can relate but it’s just hilarious.  It is also possible because I am way to comfortable talking about such matters that it’s just life.  I guess over a year of the same people every week asking you about your bowel movements will do that.  I am de-sensitized.

Poop Funnies