My super fantastic lady day was just about one of the best days that I have had in a long time.  We went to Blackbird, which is just incredibly good.  After he bought me a card and beautiful purse to celebrate my finishing of course two.

Beautiful present

Sorry I can’t the dumb picture to stay in the edited version that I want it to be, upright.  Anyways, yes this is my new purse that I have been lusting over for over a month.  I mean I literally would look at it everyday online but just couldn’t justify buying it for myself.  My husband is the best.  I didn’t even ask him to buy it for me either.  He is just amazing.  I don’t know what I would do without.

So today’s agenda is doctor’s appointment and then my three hour MRI.  Ugh, sitting still that long sucks and the last time I had to have this done was inpatient and my wonderful nurse Annie gave me morphine before going down so I slept through most of it.  So, hopefully the two Loransapam that I am going to take with have a similar effect.  Or at least get me through the test.

My amazing husband came up with doing “super fantastic lady days”.  They basically entail an amazing lunch or doing an activity of my choosing after doctor’s appointments. I look forward to these days since going out to dinner these days is few and far between.  First off I can’t stay up that late and I am not 100% comfortable with it yet.  Lunches seem a lot less pressure and less people.  When you have a compromised immune system the less people thing matters a lot.

So whenever I can’t find the right words or say something that doesn’t make sense, I jokingly say it’s “chemo brain”.  It happens in a LOT of people who go through chemotherapy.  The brain slows and you feel slower.  Well now they are actually starting to research this “chemo brain” and the effects that chemo has on the brain.  Here is the article I found.

Chemo Brain is a real thing

My body may not be ready for course three but mentally I am so ready to get this third chemo party started.  I will say that it will be nice to not have chemicals racing through my body for a week.  I still just want to keep going. Yesterday was 7 long hours at the hospital but got some very good news that my left eye is basically completely healed from the lesions that this disease left me with.  My right eye still has a ways to go.

Gentle Yoga today which is great since it’s raining outside and can’t walk in the rain.  Yes I will melt.  Running in the rain is great.  Walking in the rain sucks.  Just to clarify.

Today will officially end course two of treatment.  The last infusion for this course.  I am so excited to be moving on to course three.  I am not looking forward to the LP with IT chemo that comes with it every week but one small sacrifice to keep on moving.  Today is still going to be a long day.  Labs, chemo infusion, transfusion of blood and platelets, and eye doctor appointment.  Hopefully everything will go smoothly.

I get one week off of chemo and start course three on June 17, depending on how my levels rebound.  Which hopefully they will cooperate.

I have finally starting last week been able to concentrate long enough to read.  Up to this point I couldn’t read a page of a book without re-reading it several times, so I hadn’t really even picked up a book.  That has seemed to change as I can concentrate a little more.  I have been a reading machine since then.  I have gone through a lot of books and am open to more suggestions on what to read next.

I went into this weekend with low levels across the board.  My hemoglobins were only at 8.8, platelets were at 47, and my white blood count was I think at 1.3, I am also nutrapenic again at .07.  I feel weak and tired.  I am already scheduled for more blood and platelets on Tuesday when I go in for infusion chemo.  Physically I am not sure if I can walk today, since making breakfast was a bit of a struggle this morning.  Plus my body aches a lot today, thank you tramodol for making it all better.

Hopefully I can get through today and Monday without any issues.

This may be to much information, so here is my warning.  If you don’t want to read this post-stop here.

I am all backed up.  I know that the last chemo, vincristie, causes constipation.  But man I am in trouble.  I feel awful because I can’t get it out. Pooping is so important.  The miralax and senna are doing nothing for me today.  I just need to go.  🙁  Rough start to the day.

As I am coming to the end of course two of treatment, the next couple of weeks are all planned out with the next steps in treatment.  It makes me feel much better knowing that there is a plan in place.  Lessens the anxiety, for sure.

I can’t wait until Aimee, my psychologist is back from maternity leave.  It is about that time for a mental check up.  I think this disease is all about mind, body and soul.  It’s all connected.  I know all is effected by one another.  It’s always good to know where I stand mentally and making sure I control the anxiety.

“I love to see a girl grab life by the lapels.  Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”-Maya Angelou.

I am taking this cancer and kicking it’s ass.  No one is going to do it for me.  No one is going to make me do the “right” things to make progress in getting stronger and healthier.  I have to go out and kick ass.  I love that quote.  I love many of Maya Angelo’s quotes but for some reason this one right now is just more fitting than the rest.

Even on days when I don’t want to walk, I walk.  I don’t want to shower even, I shower.  Or go out and get chemo, I get chemo.  No one is making me do these things.  I know these will all make me better in the end.  It’s the end game that I am after.  I want my life back and I am going to go after it and take it back.  Fuck you cancer, fuck you.

Just Tuesday and Thursday hospital days this week so far.  Unless they need me to come in for platelets, it should be a pretty “easy” week.  This nice little break on my body should be good.  Just have to keep the nausea and joint pain in check.

Still feeling run down pretty quickly these days but definitely working on strength and stamina.  Up to 3 miles a day and it doesn’t hurt, which is a win in my book.

My hemoglobins were 7.2 so it is time for some blood.  Going in and getting two pints this morning before our Dr.  D appointment and infusion in the afternoon.  Only about a 7 to 8 hour day if all goes smoothly.  Long day but I will be feeling good this weekend.  Plus three days off for the holiday and won’t have to go back until Tuesday, so it should be good for my body.  My platelets were low but not low enough to get more, but probably next week.  With such a long day, I will be missing my daily walk but that is okay.  I can make this my rest day.

I don’t feel as tired as I probably should with my hemogloblins so low.  Mind you most people rock the 12-15 range.  So I feel that I am doing good at least physically.  I feel more tired from lack of sleep than anything else.  On to the day!

Happy three day weekend everyone else!  Enjoy.