I had another post planned and written for today but received some surprising news this afternoon so I decided to scrap it.

What are we all doing?  Really.  Why do we work 9-5 or whatever the hours may be just to live for stuff we don’t need in the first place?  What’s the point?  As more events occur in life, the more I am asking myself, “what am I doing?”.  Why do I sit in ten or more hours of traffic a week?  Because my job pays well and allows me to live a life I otherwise would have never dreamed, possibly?  But why?  Would I really “need” all these things.  It’s just stuff anyways.  Who fucking cares at the end of day.  Each and everyday I am beginning to value relationships and experiences more than anything else.  When it’s all said and done -all you leave behind is other people and memories.  That’s it.  How you affect people and places in this world are all what we leave.  Fuck it what am I really doing?  It makes me want to live off the grid in a hut on an island.  Living off the land (should probably be okay with touching fish and dead things).  So what there are some logistics to work out.  I hate ants too so that may be another obstacle.  Am I supposed to change the world?  I don’t have the energy for that.  Reality is people suck to deal with, so what am I really doing?  For what too?  For who?  All these questions to answer.  Where is my cancer epiphany?

The only words that truly are always in my mind are “if you have loved, cried and laughed in one day, then you have lived a full life that day” or something to that effect by Jimmy V.  It couldn’t be more true.