Painful, hurtful or distressing situations make a person stronger.  It’s like a shield people put up against others to insulate themselves.  I think I do it more than I ever have before.   It’s like I don’t know how to talk to people or interact with them anymore.  I know it’s me but all I can think in my head is, “please don’t ask me anything about cancer or just say something about cancer and get it out of the way”.  It’s fucking depressing.  I am not sure why I care, because I guess I really don’t.   I know I am the awkward one, usually I am.

Speaking of awkward.  My hair is finally starting to grow back and it’s not looking too hot.  I don’t know what to do.  A part of me just wants to shave it because quiet frankly it’s so easy.  The other part knows I have to go through this to get to the other side and should just suck it up.  Ugh, what to do, what to do.