I can barely concentrate.  I am freaking out.  Anxiety ridden.  Waiting for my doctor to call with results is unbearable.  I feel like crying.  I keep checking the time.  It’s only 10:18 AM.  Waiting.

Today could be an amazing day or a horrible one.  Waiting.  Waiting is the worst part of this whole fucking process.  Waiting, recovering, waiting.  Just breathe.  I feel as though there is an elephant on my chest.

Of course I don’t have any ativan with me.  When I need it.  I assumed I had one in my little pill jar but was wrong.  I need one right now.

My doctor was supposed to call and nothing.  NO CALL.  More waiting.