Telling people that you have cancer is definitely harder than just actually having cancer.  There is no easy way, you aren’t sure how people will react, either way it’s a very depressing conversation to have with someone.  Unless I email people, I haven’t been able to tell someone in person or over the phone without crying.  I am not sure why, which is probably why I but it off more than anything else or have T-Bear tell people.  I remember when my dad came to the hospital I made Anthony tell my dad before he even got into the room.  I couldn’t do it.  I am not sure if I just didn’t want to see my dad’s reaction or if my own emotions would be so out of control that I wouldn’t be able to get it out regardless.  I think it’s actually the second time my dad actually cried.  The first was when I got married.  So poor Anthony had to the be the bearer of bad news and see my father cry for the second time ever.  All I know is at that moment I needed both of those men more than words could ever explain.  Once you get diagnosed there needs to be a seminar on how to tell people you have cancer and how do deal with people’s reactions.  That would be actually very helpful.  Or hallmark needs to start making cards to send out about having cancer.

Anyways, feeling much better today than previously.  Finally have this nausea under control for the most part.  Go for a walk later and enjoy some of this nice weather we are having.  Hopefully as my body regenerates my neutraphils will cooperate and go up so we can get the course three party started.